I recently turned 23 and like many birthdays I wasn't exactly looking forward to it - I find the "all eyes on me because it's my birthday" some what uncomfortable and organising parties/gatherings super stressful due to previous birthday celebration disasters (trust me they were disasters). However I love spending the day with my family and one or two close friends, I just don't like a big old fuss being made but this birthday was actually very nice and it turned into a bigger celebration than I thought! If you want to find out more about my thoughts on being 23, what I want to achieve over this next year and why I don't like birthdays then keep reading!
// Silver foil tattoos by Tinyskinscribbles //
The reason (or reasons) I'm not into throwing parties
So I think I'll start with the main reason as to why I'm not big on birthdays. Don't get me wrong I would love to host a big party, have lots of friends, food, a dress code! It would be amazing but when you're not a super popular person a large party isn't exactly achievable unfortunately but like the saying goes its not about quantity is about quality and the very few friends I have are very, very special ones. But the reason behind my worry towards trying to achieve having a party, whether or not I know enough people, is due to my 20th birthday doo. I had a great time on my actually birthday day, it was a Wednesday so I knew it would be difficult to get people out due to work the next day and it being a weekday but the people who came really made the night super fun and I'm so grateful to them for that. However the second "event" I hosted with a friend of mine (her birthday had been a few weeks before mine and we thought we would have a joint celebration) was a complete disaster that made me and my friend feel more unpopular than ever. We arranged it for a Saturday, as Saturday is the day to hold any party, we invited a lot of people and because we had both my friends and hers we thought it would be a pretty big gathering but oh my goodness were we wrong! Hardly anyone even bothered to state whether or not they were coming, both on our Facebook event or by phone, many just didn't turn up on the day and 2 of the people who did end up coming ended up having a fight and upsetting the few friends who actually came. All in all I think its safe to say it was a disastrous evening one of which my friend and I have not, and probably never will, forget.
However that being said this birthday, like I said before, was a lovely day filled with wonderful people. And my friend has also thrown parties and had great success' and thoroughly enjoyed herself.
My thoughts on being 23
I'm not going to lie, I wasn't exactly looking forward to turning 23... every birthday I wish I'd made the most of my previous year - when I turned 19 I wished I was 18 again, when I was 22 I wished I was 21 again and days before my 23rd birthday I was already wishing I had made the most of being 22? I don't know why I do it but it seems that because I'm always looking back on my previous age and that year that has past I miss out on the age I am and the things I should be doing therefore this is definitely something I want to stop doing this year so I can just enjoy being the age I am now, 23.
The things I want to achieve this are to finally start my own business. I have tried various times to do so, over many years (different ideas) but I finally have enough money to do so and am excited of creating something I have designed, seeing my designs cone to life and then be able to share it with others.
I would also like to go on more trips with friends as I am some what of a nervous traveller. Flying is not something I enjoy to say the least but I feel that I am stopping myself from having really amazing times with family and friends and therefore stopping myself from creating wonderful and fun memories of which I will always look back on.
And lastly, I want to work on myself (as usual) but instead of going with the usual approach I have that is, change everything about my natural self and become somebody I'm probably never going to be able to become - I'm not somebody who oozes confidence and I'm not someone who speaks her mind (enough) even when I should e.g when people are rude of disrespectful. So how could I become such a person, especially when I seem to think its just going to happen over night? Crazy I know. But instead of doing that I just want to be happy with me, how I look, who I am and simply just be happy and confident in myself. I'm not sure how I'm going to do it but I'm going to find out.
// Playsuit: Vintage Miss Selfridge //
// Shoes: Misspap //
// Choker Necklace : Primark //
// Sunglasses : Ali express //
// Sunhat : Tesco //
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